Magic Bars

You know how occasionally you come across a recipe where every single ingredient is delicious, totally on its own? This is one of those recipes. No baking soda or raw eggs here. No flour or water or boring leavening agents. Just pure decadence, from start to finish.* It's one of those recipes that would be hard to pass up when you read it... but since it came from the inside of a box of butter, I'm not really sure how Eleanor found it to begin with.

Growing up, I remember friends making these for potluck dinners and to bring to parties, and we always called them Seven Layer Bars, but we must have been terrible at counting, because these only have 6 ingredients. So good are these bars that I used up my precious stash of chocolate chips in order to make them. As an aside, you can't get chocolate chips in Scotland-- at least not the kind needed for baking. So every time I go to the States, I pick up a couple bags and stash them in the back of the pantry for emergency use only. Judson doesn't understand the concept of an emergency baking stash, so I'm appealing to you for compassion on this. I've tried cooking with a bar of chocolate hacked to pieces, and although it sometimes works, mostly it makes your baked goods look kind of muddy from the tiny shavings of chocolate it leaves behind, instead of clean and studded with pockets of melty chocolate.**

These are the perfect party snack, and practically foolproof. Eleanor's copy was dogeared and worn, but absent any of the notations that most of her go-to recipes have, so trust me when I say: neither she nor I have found any way to improve upon this perfection. It's truly embarrassing how good these are-- the type of thing that you could bring to a party and, despite dirtying only one pan and spending less than 30 minutes on the entire dish, start to finish, they'll be polished off within an hour, even as the plate of petit fours languishes next to it.

Nobody is gonna want to admit how delicious these are, but no one could ever say no to one of them. Oh, and if you live stateside and have the option of shredded or flaked coconut instead of desiccated, so much the better for the texture. These are the best friend of the person who no one trusts to make a decent baked good-- easy, delicious, and so decadent you'll have to cut them into small pieces, which just means more to go around.

Take it from me and Eleanor: make these tonight, take them to work tomorrow, and then count the hours til you get called into the boss's office for a promotion

*Admittedly, part of the reason for this is that the recipe relies on a crust made of pre-made cookies, but nevertheless, I stand by my argument.

**If you're looking for things to mail us, chocolate chips are way at the top of the list, along with maple syrup, Tabasco sauce, hot pepper vinegar, and most flavours of Jell-o, which, embarrassingly, I need for a lot of upcoming recipes from the box. (Oh, also something called canned grapes, which I can't even fathom, really.)

The verdict: 4 spoons out of five, if you make them with the amount of chocolate I recommend below. I knocked off a spoon because nothing this easy should really get 5 spoons, it's just awkward.

The recipe:

Magic Bars

the ingredients:

½ c butter
1 ½ c Rich Tea crumbs (UK) or graham cracker crumbs (US)
14 oz condensed milk
10 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 1/3 c flaked or shredded coconut, or 1 c desiccated coconut
1 c chopped nuts (I used pecans and hazelnuts)

THE DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 176C/350F.
Melt butter by placing it in a 13x9 baking dish in the oven.
Sprinkle crumbs over butter evenly, pressing down to ensure good contact.
Pour condensed milk over crumbs as evenly as possible.
Top with chocolate chips, coconut, and nuts, pressing down firmly.
Bake 20-25 minutes until lightly browned and nuts are toasted.
Cool and cut into bars. Store at room temperature, or cold for a chewier treat.

Yields 18-24 bars.

All-American Strawberry Shortcake

When I was a kid, I thought I hated strawberry shortcake because a) I had only tried it made in those tiny angel food cake cups you buy at the grocery store, and b) because I hated how the angel food cake got spongy and dissolved into a sad pink puddle as soon as the strawberry juice touched it.

But then this happened:

Strawberry shortcake is an easy dessert to avoid, if you think you don't like it. It seems fussy, since you can't assemble it until right before it's served, and most restaurants don't bother putting it on menus because, I think, no one would choose a dessert that's really just biscuit+fruit if there's crème brulée and flourless chocolate cake on the menu.

Also, it's pretty much quintessential Southern American food... which is why I find it odd that Eleanor, a dyed-in-the-wool yankee who preferred her desserts in chocolate or cookie form, had no less than three recipes for it in the box. Maybe she was trying to fit in with her adopted home, or maybe she just needed something to do with all the strawberries that grow in Florida. After all, St. Pete is less than an hour from Plant City, the self-proclaimed strawberry capital of the world, and I can only imagine how many more strawberry farms were within driving distance in the 1960s and 70s, before the area was as gentrified as it is today.

When looking for a perfect spring dessert to serve to a mèlange of Scottish and American friends over the weekend, I gravitated immediately toward this. It's the perfect dessert for this time of year, when the trees are blooming but the weather can still turn on a dime. We're past the point of heavy brownies and cheesecakes, but not yet to summer's lemon squares and icebox pies, and this shortcake bridges the gap perfectly. A warm, cozy (American-style) biscuit, ladled with ice-cold strawberries and their sweet juices, topped with a giant cloud of whipped cream is the perfect way to celebrate springtime finally arriving. Best of all, this recipe makes single-serve versions, so the only portioning you have to do when it's time for dessert is to heap whipped cream liberally onto your own, individual biscuits.

The best part? The way the orange juice and zest in the biscuit play off the sweetness of the berries and cream. Plus, serving this at a dinner party is just about the most foolproof way to guarantee yourself a beautiful dessert ever: not everyone can frost a beautiful cake, and not every cheesecake comes out perfectly smooth, but no matter how craggy your shortcakes are, the strawberries cover them up and distract from any imperfections, and the whipped cream tops it all off perfectly.

Make these this spring. You won't regret it. (Plus, the leftover shortcakes we had make perfect breakfast biscuits with a hot cup of tea!)

The verdict:

4 spoons out of five. This dessert covers everything I love in a single dish: a mix of flavours, temperatures, and a rustic-but-elegant appearance you'll love serving to your friends. I did, however, knock off a spoon because they didn't rise like I wanted them to. No doubt this is user error, but I tried really hard this time, and this is my website, so I'm taking off a spoon.

Hopefully your shortcakes rise more than these did, but rest assured: even if they don't, they'll still taste amazing.

The recipe:

Strawberry Shortcake

the ingredients:

3 pints (1 ½ kilos) fresh strawberries, destemmed and sliced
¼ c honey
2 tsp orange juice
2 c flour
4 tbsp sugar
4 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
Zest or grated rind from 1 orange
¼ c butter
¼ c shortening
½ c sour cream (or Greek yogurt)
2 c whipping cream
2 tbsp powdered sugar
1 tbsp vanilla

 

THE DIRECTIONS:

Combine sliced berries, honey, and orange juice in a bowl.
Let sit at room temperature at least one hour, or more if your berries aren't especially ripe.
Preheat oven to 204C/400F.
Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt together into a medium bowl.
Add orange rind, followed by butter and shortening, working them into mixture until it forms a coarse meal with pea-sized bits of butter.
Lightly mix in sour cream with a fork to form a soft dough. DO NOT OVERMIX.
Form dough into a ball and dump onto floured surface.
Cut into quarters, then form each quarter into a round-ish disk.
Place disks onto cookie sheet and bake until golden, approximately 12-15 minutes.
While shortcakes cook, whip the cream with powdered sugar and vanilla.

If your shortcakes rise successfully, split them in half while still warm and fill with strawberries and whipped cream, then top with other half of shortcake.
If yours, like ours, don't rise enough to split them in half, then heap strawberries on top, followed by whipped cream and serve will warm.

Yields 4 good-sized servings.

Tax Day Cheesecake, or, Double-Crusted, Lightweight Cheesecake

Alright, let's be honest. If you're reading this, there's a good chance you're paying American taxes today, which, even if you're getting money back, is still a terrible amount of paperwork. Or perhaps you're a Brit, in which case, you probably should be celebrating the fact that you AREN'T paying American taxes today. Or maybe you started a new job this week (oh wait, that's me).

Regardless, I'm pretty sure this accurately sums up the way you and I both feel right about now.

In case you're just tuning in, when I sorted out the recipes in the box, it turned out that my grandmother had over a dozen recipes for plain cheesecake. Plain! Not even flavoured! So each month I'm making one, in hopes that I'll perfect my method, and also that maybe eventually I'll have a go-to unbeatable cheesecake recipe. So far, this is turning out more difficult than I thought.

Of all the cheesecakes I've made from the box so far, this one is most definitely the easiest. It's also hands down the most delicious... but that doesn't mean it came out pretty. Once again, the cheesecake rose to unmanageable heights in the oven, then slumped, fell, and cracked down the middle almost all the way to the crust. Also, good luck finding zweiback if you don't live... wherever zweiback is from. I settled for a mix of BelVita 'milk & cereals' biscuits and something called 'Nice Biscuits,' which I later learned are very sweet and coconut-based, so I don't recommend going that route. But if you do, then lower your sugar accordingly (I've included both amounts below).

However, it was still worth it, because this sucker was delicious. (Oh, and I finally found pie filling at an international grocer, so I'd be lying if I said I didn't eat my share of this topped with cherries. I'm sure Eleanor is glowering down on me from Heaven, but hey: a girl can't make one cheesecake a month without getting sick of plain ones!

This is the most worn-out, dripped-on, dog-eared recipe I've yet come across in the box, so I know Eleanor agreed with me: make this cheesecake when you need a break from the most taxing parts of your everyday life (pun intended).

The verdict:

4 spoons out of five. If I was ranking on ease and flavour alone, I'd have to give it a five, but alas, appearance figures into the mix here, and this cheesecake slumped and cracked like I've never seen before, so... a spoon is deducted accordingly. However, the uniqueness of having a top and bottom crust combined with the creamy-but-still-light flavour makes me think this might be the one most worth perfecting.

The recipe:

Double-Crusted, Lightweight Cheesecake

The ingredients:

The crust:

1 ½ c zweiback, digestive, rich tea, or graham cracker crumbs, ground very fine and divided
2 tbsp sugar (if using zweiback. Otherwise, cut this to a scant 1 tbsp)
3 tbsp melted butter

THE FILLING:

16 oz cream cheese
1 c sugar
5 eggs, divided
16 oz sour cream
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp lemon juice

CRUST:

Mix together sugar, butter, and 1 c crumbs, then press firmly into bottom of springform pan.
Reserve remaining ½ c crumbs for top crust.

 

 

FILLING:

Bring cream cheese to room temperature.
Once cream cheese is ready, preheat oven to 148C/300F.
In a large mixing bowl, beat egg yolks.
Add cream cheese and sugar and mix well, then add sour cream, vanilla, and lemon juice.
(Cream cheese should be soft enough that you can do this by hand-- if you use a mixer, make sure to use the lowest speed)
Set aside mixture, and in a separate bowl beat egg whites until very stiff.
Fold egg whites into cream cheese mixture gently until mixture is smooth. (This will take 3-5 minutes if working by hand. Mine still had bubbles in it, but all lumps were gone).
Pour into prepared pan and top with remaining crumbs.
Bake 1 hour, then, without opening the door, turn oven off and leave for another hour.
Open door and leave for a third hour.
Remove from oven and allow to cool thoroughly before removing sides of pan.