Deviled Ham & Eggs

Yes, this post is about deviled ham; no, it is not about deviled eggs, though those are awesome. Today was a surprise stressful day- one of those days that dawns like any other, but a routine appointment turned into an all-morning affair, which meant arranging for someone to hang out at our flat to wait to let in the boiler repair guy who was running late and didn't arrive until shortly after I got home. He was supposed to be doing routine maintenance but quickly realised that our entire boiler somehow needs to be moved UP 15 centimetres in the wall, and while he was doing that, the Council showed up to check on why our back garden is flooding and needed to dye the water in my sink an ecto-plasmic green to see where the blockage is, totally freaking Holtzmann out and did I mention that the boiler guy is scared of dogs?

After they all left and I recovered from the stress of the morning and re-assembled my kitchen, I decided to make the dinner* I had already bought ingredients for, deviled ham and eggs, getting angrier and angrier as I realised that this, too, was probably not going to go to plan and I was going to be left with an unpleasant breakfast-for-dinner situation after my unpleasant appointment, boiler, sink and dog situations of the day. So I angrily chopped ham and snipped chives (have you ever tried to snip things angrily? It doesn't work very well) and mixed then tasted then mixed some more and... suddenly I had deviled ham so delicious I didn't want to wait for dinner because I was too busy eating it off of a spoon at 5pm.

And if I ever thought deviled ham could make my day brighter, may the good lord strike me down as I type, but here we are. This is kind of a freebie recipe because it's the printed meal recommendation on the back of the recipe for last week's rice pudding, but I decided to make it anyway because, I guess, I'm a sucker for punishment (or so I thought, until I made it). But then I made it, and, surprise, it was delicious. Having no access to tinned or prepared deviled ham, I made my own, and thus got to make it as spicy as I wanted, which, after the day previously described, was VERY. In the process of so doing, I looked up deviled ham recipes and learned that the Underwood Deviled Ham logo is the oldest trademarked logo still in use in the US, which is pretty cool and very random since I swear I've never seen it before (except, maybe, when previously making deviled ham for this quiche). Anyway, after reading a whole bunch of recipes to get the gist of what should go in deviled ham (I haven't made it except for the aforementioned quiche, and I couldn't really remember how to do so), I personalised the recipe to my tastes and it was great. This means it's not a super authentically 1950s deviled ham, but if you like spice, ham, eggs and breakfast foods, this is for you and you should totally try it on the weekend. Best served, according to the recipe card, with ideal coffee, but it works equally well with sparkling water and a tomato salad.

If you're not into the idea of deviled ham with eggs as a main course, whip yourself up a batch of the ham anyway and serve it with crispy crackers. It's awesome.

*This dish is technically supposed to be for breakfast, but I didn't want to wait for the weekend so we had breakfast for dinner and COME AT ME if you want to discuss whether this is stupid.

The verdict:

5 spoons out of five. Deviled ham plus scrambled eggs plus toast equals comforting breakfast food guaranteed to kick a hangover on the weekend or, you know, improve your weekday by 34%.

one year ago: smash the patriarchy party mix
two years ago: Garbanzo bean soup  

the recipe:

Deviled Ham with Scrambled Eggs

the directions:

Chop ham coarsely.
Stir in cream cheese, hot sauce and mustard, a little at a time, until desired consistency and flavour is reached.
Add chives, parsley, lemon juice and pepper and mix well.
Taste and add salt if needed (mine didn't) or additional hot sauce (mine did, but that's because I wanted blow-your-head-off levels of heat).
Set aside mixture while you softly scramble two eggs per person and toast 1 slice of bread per person.

Pile scrambled eggs and deviled ham on top of toast and enjoy!

the ingredients:

200g (approx. 4 slices) ham slices, cut thick
60g (scant ¼ c) cream cheese
1 tbsp hot sauce (preferably Frank's Red Hot)
1 tsp mustard (preferably whole grain)
1 tbsp snipped chives
2 sprigs torn parsley
½ tsp lemon juice
½ tsp black pepper

1 slice of toast per person
2 eggs, softly scrambled, per person

Fried Chicken & German Potato Salad

Tomatoes not included in either recipe, but we ate them with the fried chicken in lieu of the tomato juice recommended by the recipe card, and i couldn't help but include them because of how beautiful they are this time of year.

When I was a kid, I always thought I hated potato salad. Generally it includes mayo, it never stays cold enough at picnics in Florida to make me feel safe, often there are bits of raw onion hiding in there… all of which were super off-putting to a wee Blair growing up.

Since then, I’ve expanded my palate (quite a bit, in fact), and I’ve learned to appreciate it when it’s homemade or a particularly good restaurant-style. But I never would have called myself a ‘fan,’ per se, until one night last November.

As previously discussed, Judson surprised me with the absolute best 30th birthday I could ever have dreamed of, in the company of three of my best friends in Paris and Berlin. The night we arrived in Berlin, we took naps after our late afternoon arrival and then took off to wander around the city. It was cold and dark, and Berlin is a city that does cosy well. So we wandered past restaurant after restaurant that had blazing fires, dark wood furniture, and hearty plates of food being served to rosy-cheeked diners. But everywhere we stopped was full to capacity even though it was just a random Wednesday night. We wandered farther and farther from our rented flat until we stumbled upon a place called Henne, which, we found out later, is literally just German for ‘chicken.’

We walked in and sipped (giant) steins of beer next to a woodstove while we waited for our table to open up, and when we sat down, we found out that their entire menu was: fried chicken, either a half or a whole, served with sauerkraut or potato salad. Naturally we ordered a few chickens and some of each side, then chowed down like there was no tomorrow. I don’t think in the entirety of my 30 years on this planet I have ever smelled anything that smelled as delicious as that restaurant. I don’t know that I will ever be as contented or as cosy as I was that night, and I don’t know if I will ever taste better fried chicken or potato salad. So recently when I realised that I have recipes for both fried chicken and ‘german’ potato salad in the box, I got excited. It’s my time to re-create the perfection of that night!

That said, having only made fried chicken once in my life, in the company of a seasoned expert in—I kid you not—Kentucky, I wasn’t super excited about attempting it on my own. I’ve never deep-fried anything on my own, and I’ve definitely never bought a 2 litre bottle of oil before. But, here we are, in a kitchen with no exhaust fan and a wall of ceramic plates above the stove that are now a little more coated in grease. Luckily, the weather has finally turned around here in Edinburgh, so when we made this chicken on Sunday night, we shut ourselves in the kitchen and threw the kitchen window open to air it out. I’d be lying if I said the kitchen didn’t smell like fried food for the rest of the night, but by the morning it was fresh and clean-smelling, and the house was none the worse for wear.

But I’m getting ahead of myself: making fried chicken wasn’t nearly as traumatic as I thought it would be, despite the very vague directives provided in the recipe. I did some additional research just to be sure I wasn’t going to start a grease fire, and despite checking with Alton Brown (king of all things) and Paula Deen (queen of all fried things), the best guidance I got was from a Jamie Oliver recipe, which replicated more or less what was included in the recipe but in further detail and with enough safety precautions to make me feel certain I wasn’t going to burn down my flat. It definitely took longer than I thought (I guess I’m used to ‘things I make on the stove’ being quicker than ‘things I make in the oven), but the result was so thoroughly satisfying that I regret nothing, I won’t be buying myself a deep-fryer anytime soon, but it’s nice to know that I at least have the capability to fry things. (Full disclosure: Judson was the one deciding when things were ‘done’ enough to remove from the oil, as well as the one who chopped up the chicken. But it was ALL ME who figured out the best way to finish the chicken in the oven without having a grease fire to contend with).

Honestly, though: the main memory I have of the first time I made fried chicken is getting burned like crazy from the popping oil, because we made it in a skillet. This time around, with the aid of my trusty Staub cocotte, neither of us got splattered even once (though we both had on aprons, just in case). It may not be the healthiest meal that we’ve ever eaten, but I can’t tell you the last time I had fried chicken (I KNOW it was before I moved to Scotland), so I’m not holding onto a lot of guilt about this one. Pair this with this impeccable (and mayonnaise-free!) German potato salad for the ultimate in picnic fare. Bonus points for eating it outside in the sunshine!

The verdict:
Fried chicken:

5 spoons out of five. This is a relatively simple way to celebrate spring (ok, ok, the start of summer if you live anywhere outside the UK), and it’s seriously just so tasty—plus, unlike chicken nuggets or fried chicken from restaurants, you know exactly what goes into this batch so at least it’s a little less unhealthy than the store-bought alternatives!

German Potato Salad:

4 spoons out of five. It's delicious, super easy, and perfect for this time of year. Enjoy!

one year ago: Oatmeal Toffee Lace Cookies (still an all-time fave in the Cowan kitchen!)

The recipe:

Fried Chicken

the directions:

Blend flour, salt, and pepper in a zippy bag.
Place a few pieces of chicken into the bag at a time and shake it up, pressing the flour into any non-coated parts.
Gently tap the chicken pieces as you remove them and set them aside while you heat the oil.
Pour oil into a skillet to the depth of 1-inch and heat over medium heat until shimmering.
(If you have a piece of bread handy, you can toss a bread cube into the oil to test the heat-- if it starts sizzling immediately, you're good to go!)
Once oil is hot, begin by putting the meaty pieces of chicken into the oil, a few at a time, making sure to not crowd the pan..
They'll sizzle and pop a lot, so it's worth wearing an apron or at least a t-shirt you don't care about.
While the chicken sizzles, preheat the oven to 160C/325F and place an oven-safe cooling rack on top of a cookie sheet.
Once chicken is golden-brown on the bottom, turn it over and continue to cook until cooked through-- this will take 8-10 minutes.
Remove chicken from oil using tongs, and place chicken on cooling rack positioned over cookie sheet.
Place the cookie sheet/cooling rack combo in the oven (DO NOT omit the cookie sheet or the chicken will drip oil into the oven and catch fire) and allow to cook while you finish the remaining chicken pieces in the oil, adding each piece to the tray in the oven as you finish it.
By the time you finish frying all of the pieces, the chicken should only need another 2-5 minutes in the oven. Check for doneness by pricking the thickest part of the leg with a sharp knife-- if juices run clear, you're good to go!

the ingredients:

½ c flour
4 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1 chicken, cut into pieces
Vegetable or Peanut oil (a fresh bottle, as you're going to need a lot)

---

The recipe:

German Potato Salad

the directions:

Combine flour, sugar, 2 tbsp of the bacon drippings, salt, pepper, water, and vinegar.
Stir and cook until thickened.
Add mustard and onions and mix well.
Pour mixture over potatoes, and stir gently just until potatoes are coated.
Sprinkle with pancetta or lardons and garnish with the hard-boiled egg slices.

the ingredients:

1 ½ tbsp flour
1 tbsp sugar
6 oz pancetta or lardons, pan-fried until crisp, drippings reserved
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
½ c water
1/3 c cider vinegar
4 tsp mustard
3 tbsp onions, minced
3 c potatoes, sliced, boiled, and drained
2 eggs, hard-boiled and sliced

Country Breakfast

“There is no sadness in the world that can't be cured by breakfast food.”
--Ron Swanson.

This, however, is not a post about sadness. It's a post about breakfast food and making do with what you have. The recipe for “Country Breakfast,” as Eleanor saved it in The Box, is not a recipe at all. It is, in fact, nothing but a list of ingredients.

At first I was kind of irritated at her about this. I am super organised, to the irritation of everyone who has ever had to live with me, and so this kind of nonsensical clipping of only the ingredients but not the recipe flies in the face of everything I stand for. I kept rolling my eyes every time I saw the non-recipe, wondering how I was supposed to come up with directions to make something that she hadn't even correctly saved, BUT THEN I realised something.

The ingredients for “Country Breakfast” are listed at the bottom of a newspaper page. At the very bottom of the list is a note that reads “(Please see EGGS, Page 12-D).” So as it turns out, I was mad at Eleanor when I should have been mad at the St. Pete Times for laying out their paper so badly. I mean, how are you supposed to make this dish if the recipe and the ingredients are on two separate pages of a newspaper? If this issue of the paper wasn't twenty-seven years old, I'd send them a complaint.

On second thought, Eleanor probably took care of that for me. 

Lately, I live for the weekends, which is kind of silly, really. I'm currently in the middle of a job search, so really every day is kind of like a weekend for me. But it's harder to have fun on a Monday than it is on a Saturday because during the week everyone I know is at work. Enter the weekend, where Judson and I get to pal around, sleep in, and do whatever we want-- but we get to do it together, which is way more fun.

When we lived in the States, we used to sleep in on Saturday mornings and then go out for brunch somewhere. It was a ritual, and we adhered to it religiously. We'd do a crossword puzzle while we waited for our table, I'd get coffee and a hundred refills while Judson drank tea, which I still thought was gross, and then we'd tuck in to a delicious brunch and be set until dinner.

Brunch, however, is a peculiarly American institution-- when I had a German friend come stay with us for two weeks, Judson and I got up on Saturday morning and asked our friend if she wanted to go get brunch that morning. She literally giggled and said “Brunch! Is that even real? You guys are so... American.”

But when we moved to Scotland, two things happened: first was that we were living on a single income, and second was that there just isn't as great of a brunch scene in Edinburgh as there was in Atlanta... or, I'd hazard a guess, anywhere in the US. So we started making our own weekend brunch. Usually eggs and beans (a British breakfast thing that I used to think was weird but now really love) and a scone or whatever we have on hand. Now we know the town and we're more financially set, but we still make our own weekend brunch, because, as Judson said this weekend when we were happily munching on Country Breakfast, “we just make better breakfast than any restaurant can.”

The Verdict:

4 Spoons out of five. This breakfast is delicious, hearty, and filling, but it does, however, dirty a ton of dishes. It's not super fast, either, so if you're hungover and just need all the bacon on your plate as soon as possible, it's probably not a great option. BUT it reheats like a charm and we found it even better the second morning we had it as leftovers, so if you have guests coming, make it on Friday evening and everyone will think you're Martha Stewart the next morning when all you had to do was sleep in, have a mimosa, and reheat the pan.

THE RECIPE:

Country Breakfast

The Ingredients:

2 large potatoes (or equivalent in small ones), cubed
6 slices bacon, pancetta, or lardons, diced*
1 onion, sliced
1 green pepper, chopped
4 eggs
1 c cheddar cheese, grated

*As always, if you're in the UK, use lardons, not bacon, because UK bacon doesn't make the grease you need to cook everything else. If you're in the US, use bacon, and know that I am supremely jealous.

THE DIRECTIONS:

Boil potatoes until fork-tender.
While potatoes are boiling, fry bacon until crisp but still tender.
Remove bacon from pan with a slotted spoon and set it on a paper towel to drain, leaving the grease in the pan.
Cook the onion in the bacon grease until translucent and soft, then add green pepper, scraping up bits from the bottom and stirring frequently.
When green pepper has softened (3-5 minutes), add the potatoes to the pan and season to taste with salt and pepper (go easy on the salt since the bacon and cheese will both impart some saltiness).
While potatoes fry in the pan, fry the eggs, sunny side up, until whites are opaque but yokes are still runny.
Just before removing the potato mixture from the heat, add the grated cheese and give the mixture a last stir to melt the cheese.
Taste and season as needed.
Divide mixture into fourths and serve in a bowl, topping each serving with a fried egg.

Serves 4, heartily.

Note: I suspect this would be great with some garlic added in with the onion, and if you're trying to cut carbs, I also suspect it would be great with mushrooms instead of potatoes-- just clean and slice the mushrooms and add them raw to the onion/pepper mixture. Also, if you go that route, you could always wrap each serving in a flour tortilla and have the greatest breakfast burrito this side of New Mexico!