'Flavours In The Round,' or Corned Beef Sandwiches and Continental Salad

Alright, give me your opinions on corned beef. I'll be the first to admit I don't understand it. As a kid, I was repelled by the name (beef with corn in it?!), then as a grown-up I lumped it in with green beer on the list of things you only really eat once a year. But then I went to Ireland two years ago and realised that, holy moly, corned beef is magnificent. It's perfect and tender, flavourful and perfect with a pint of Guiness and a pile of mashed potatoes on an icy autumn day.

Ireland is not that far from Scotland, so I figured our corned beef here would be similar... which was my first mistake. To be fair to Scotland and it's potential corned beef supporters, I had no choice but to buy the corned beef used in this sandwich from the grocery store deli section, as everything else was already closed by the time I decided to make this sandwich. It's like a totally different meat, though. Judson referred to it, tactfully, as 'the tuna fish of lunchmeats,' but I, less gracefully, responded, 'I think you mean cat food of lunchmeats.' It had that processed look that all canned meats have (even though it didn't come in a can!) and it was so thin that it just kind of tasted like poor man's paté. The bright spot of this ordeal is twofold, though.

First, I have found a substitute for my beloved banana peppers-- a pickled vegetable that I always had a jar of when I lived in the US. Since moving to Scotland, I haven't been able to find them at the store, so I've had to go without. In the effort to make this sandwich, though, I found the super-strange long and spindly peppers pictured here. The bottle is labelled merely 'pickled peppers,' and I've only found one middle-eastern grocery store that sells them, but I HAVE THEM and they taste like banana peppers, so I'm happy. Additionally, it turns out pickled peppers are awesome on sandwiches! I've spent all my life putting them on salads, tacos, pizzas, etc., but it never occurred to me to try them on sandwiches. Well, now I know and so do you, so go get yourself a bottle of pickled peppers, skip the corned beef, and go to town.

Second, I learned why corned beef is called 'corned,' after a certain husband who shall remain nameless tried to convince me that it somehow involved actual corn. (It patently does not.) As it happens, corned beef is just a tough cut of meat similar to brisket that is marinated or rubbed with 'corns' of kosher salt to render it more flavourful and tender. So now you know, and knowing is half the battle of convincing yourself to make this sandwich.

You could pair your sandwich with this salad... but I have to warn you: I love artichokes. I love them on pizza, or with butter, sautéed or canned or fried, it doesn't matter. But I've successfully found an artichoke recipe even I am pretty meh about, and it's this salad. There's nothing inherently wrong with it... there's just also nothing right about it, and now I'm stuck with a bottle of 'French' dressing I'm never going to make it through because of this recipe. (Incidentally, I ended up with a bottle of creamy white French because the actual recipe calls for a 1:1 ratio of blue cheese dressing and red French dressing, which doesn't exist in Scotland, so I figured creamy French would do the job. It didn't.)

I do have to say, though-- swap out the weird bottled dressing for a honeyed-balsamic vinaigrette, and this salad would be just amazing. Paired for dinner, as we did, with the odd dressing combination and the only mediocre sandwich and we had a thoroughly disappointing dinner. You don't have to, though! Make yourself some homemade dressing and whip up this salad-- it's got at least two servings of veggies in it, so your body will thank you!

The verdict:

2 spoons out of five on the sandwich; 3 spoons out of five on the salad, given that you make it with better dressing than what I did. As for the sandwich, if you like corned beef, you'll love it. But if you're not sold on the need in the world for corned beef, then you might want to save your banana peppers for something more reasonable.

The recipe:

Corned Beef Sandwiches & Continental Salad

The directions:
SANDWICH:

Spread two slices of bread with mayonnaise.
Layer two slices of corned beef on each slice of bread.
Cover with a slice of cheese on each sandwich, then top with remaining bread slices.
Garnish with banana peppers.
 

 

SAlad:

Tear greens into bite-size pieces into two salad bowls.
Add artichoke hearts, sliced mushrooms, halved tomatoes, onion slices, and cucumber slices.
Toss lightly, then add cheese and drizzle with dressing.

 

the ingredients:
the sandwich:

4 slices of bread
Mayonnaise
4 slices of corned beef
2 slices provolone or emmenthal if you live in Scotland and can't find provolone anywhere
4 banana peppers

 

the salad:

2 little gems
1 can artichoke hearts
1 handful white mushrooms
1 handful grape tomatoes
½ red onion, sliced as thinly as possible
1 small cucumber
2 heaping spoonfuls blue cheese, crumbled
Dressing of your choice

Alpine Favourite, or Sardine Sandwiches

Eleanor was a strict Catholic. Her family emigrated from Poland not long before she was born, and as a first-generation citizen, she took the role of religion in her everyday life very seriously in the way that only a newly-minted American can. When Eleanor was on vacation, she searched out Catholic churches to attend on Sundays so that she would never miss a week of mass. In the letters that Wilbur, her husband, wrote to her during World War II, he frequently assures her that he's attending church every week so she needn't worry about his soul. When I was a kid I loved looking at the stack of funeral cards that belonged to Eleanor, and which my mom kept tucked into my grandpa's Bible, each of them with a beautiful (I thought) painting of Mary on one side and a prayer for the soul of the departed on the other. Eleanor had a saint for everything, so it should come as no surprise that my mom was in her twenties before she ever ate meat on a Friday. Lent or no, Eleanor served fish on Fridays and would sooner have eaten the paint on the walls than meat on a Friday.

I learned a new thing!

So although I can't imagine her ever going through the work that this sandwich requires for her entire family, it's possible she did. And if she did, it would have been on a Friday.

Sardines get a really bad rap, and I'm not gonna try to defend the canned ones, because tinned fish overall is a touchy subject. My mom is probably already so grossed out by this concept that she's already stopped reading, but hear me out on this one: there's a reason sardines persist in grocery stores, cartoons, and restaurant menus (at least in the UK), and it's because they're a relatively cheap but still totally delicious fish. The fact that they come in tins is sort of irrelevant, and it means you don't have to cook them, which is grand.

The weird thing is that this recipe is called 'Alpine Favourite,' when I'm pretty sure sardines live in saltwater and thus not particularly near the Alps.

Plus, I learned a new thing: how to sieve an egg yolk. It sounds like it would be simple, but since I only have one mesh strainer that's fairly large, it took a bit of getting used to. If you make this sandwich, to sieve the yolk, just hard-boil an egg until it's cooked all the way through-- no juicy yellow bit in the middle. For me, this was 8 minutes in boiling water, and then another 3 in the hot water left on the stove while I tended to other things. Peel your egg and cut it in half. Gently scoop out one yolk half at a time and place in the bottom of your strainer. Holding the strainer over the surface you want to cover in sieved egg and using the back of a spoon, press firmly but evenly on the yolk and let it sprinkle down onto the surface. Keep using smooth motions to press the entire yolk through until there is none left, then do the same thing with the other half of the yolk. Note that you can't really re-locate sieved egg once it's been sprinkled somewhere, so try to do it directly over the surface where you want it to be.

The verdict:

4 spoons out of five. The sandwich was just a little bit dry, but I'll fix that next time with a bit more mustard. Seriously, give this one a try. The flavours play off of each other beautifully, with the hard-boiled egg, mustard, and cornichon accenting the sardines just perfectly. Honestly, it reminded me of every meal I ate in Copenhagen when we were there a few years ago, and trust me, that's a good thing.

the recipe:

Alpine Favourite, or, Sardine Sandwiches

the ingredients:

2 slices bread
Spicy English Mustard
Leaf lettuce
2 slices Swiss cheese
2 cornichon pickles, sliced lengthwise
1 tin best-quality sardines
1 egg, hard-boiled

THE Directions:

Toast the bread.
Spread with mustard and lay a leaf or two of lettuce over it.
Add cheese (preferably sliced into triangles), cornichons, and 1 ½ sardines per sandwich.
Sieve the hard-boiled egg yolk over the open-faced sandwich, top with the other slice of toast, and enjoy.

Yields 2 open-faced sandwiches, perfect for dinner with a salad.

America's Favourite Hot One, or, The BLT Sandwich

'America's favourite hot what?' you may be asking. 'I don't know' is the answer, because this isn't even a hot sandwich.

I suppose it's time for a bit of a confession, dear readers: as a kid, I hated tomatoes, and then I got older and hated mayonnaise, and so the years passed and I made it through almost three whole decades without ever eating a BLT. Well, no more, friends! And now I'm a convert. Except, in this case, BLT actually stands for 'British Lettuce and Tomato,' because, as we've discussed before, American bacon is just not available over here in Scotland. The tomatoes over here are so much better than the ones in the US, though-- sweeter, more flavourful, and cheaper-- so I guess it's an even trade.

Anyway, this is the kind of meal to make on a night where you have fun plans that don't start until late in the evening-- like us, last night. It's simple but filling, and even though there's no way you can consider this a healthy sandwich, at least one of the main ingredients is a vegetable-- so you're not totally off base having it before a night of partying.

Plus, other than 'Tossed Salad, Four Ways,' this is officially my favourite recipe name I've come across so far. And although this is the first time in my life I've garnished a sandwich with an olive, I think from now on I'm going to demand that all my sandwiches come that way. They're at least 13% more delicious than standard sandwiches, so consider it next time you're making your lunch.

If you're in the UK, you can use lardons to make this, like we did, but it might not be the most useful way to make a sandwich since they're so small that they tend to roll out. Alternately, you could buy pancetta in strips and saute it briefly, then use that (which tastes like a thinner, crisper version of American bacon). But most of all, if you're in the UK, don't ever taste American bacon, or you'll never be able to get used to existing in a world without it.

The verdict:

5 spoons out of five. This recipe is amazing, and you should go home and make it for dinner immediately. Don't wait 29 and a half years to have your first BLT.

The recipe:

Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato Sandwich

The ingredients:

4 slices of bread
Mayonnaise
2 large lettuce leaves
2 slices cheddar cheese
2 medium-size tomatoes, sliced
4 slices of pancetta or American bacon, or a handful of lardons
4 green olives

the directions:

Toast the bread and spread 2 slices with a thin layer of mayonnaise.
Lay one slice of lettuce on each mayonnaise layer.
Layer slices of cheddar on top of lettuce, followed by tomato, bacon, and the other slices of bread.
Garnish with two olives speared on a toothpick.

Yields 2 sandwiches

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